1. One of your (caring) relatives in home town: “Aur beta kya kar rahe ho?”
“MBBS kar raha hu Uncle..First Year (with a proud smile)
Uncle (after lot of thinking) : Achha beta, (Specialization) KISME kar rahe ho?
“Woh to abhi nahi, 4 ½ saal baad jab MBBS ho jaegi na..(bina back lage) , Tab internship hogi ek saal ki…uske baad, ek entrance hoga. Agar usmein select ho gaye to counselling mein bulaya jaayega. Depending on rank, branch milegi”
Uncle (confused): Bohot achha Beta..man lagake padna.
(Same) Uncle: Aur beta, Doctor ban gaye?
Next to Next year..
(Same) Uncle: “Abhi kitna time baaki hai”
Many more years later…
“Huh! Finally!! Ho gaya PG mein…Aane do uncle ko, batata hoon!”
Uncle is no more 😀
2. Being first doctor in family, you are often liable to receive calls from unknown far off relatives.
Uncle: “Beta mere dil ki dhadkan achanak se tez ho jati hai………blah blah blah….
“Uncle aap doctor ko dikha di jiye”
Uncle: Wo to dikha diya..unhone ye dawa likhi hai…blah blah..
“Haan to uncle theek hai, khaa lijiye”
Uncle: Achha beta, khali pet ya khane ke sath.
“Uncle, doctor ne bola hoga na”
Uncle: Unhone bola, din mein do baar lena hai khane ke baad.
“Theek hai uncle, khane ke baad hi kha lijiye”
3. That belief among your engineering friends that if you are a medical student, then you MUST be having a girlfriend!
4. When you get to know that a friend, who used to play cricket outside your home almost daily while you were dating those voluminous medical entrance books, has graduated from Just Another Engineering College and has started earning handsome salary. All this, when you are still studying shit things like types of toilets from PARK.
5. Case Examination: Even after narrating every possible point in patient’s history (copying from book word to word), when the consultant says “Aur Batao!!” , “No..this thing won’t come in HOPI…you can add this in personal history instead..”, “Is this the way to take history? Kabhi clinical postings lagayi bhi hain?”
6. When a psychopath friend (most probably an Engineer!) asks you about your EXPERIENCE of being posted in Obs & Gynae Department.
7. An unwritten rule which patients all across India seem to follow: Every lady in white lab coat is a “Sister”.
8. In emergency duty, with a long list of canula and HUSE in hand, you are running around searching for a patient…You are calling his name but he’s not responding. And after you find him, you have to tolerate his temper-tantrums!
“khoon chahiye, jaldi baazoo oopar karo”
Patient : Kitna khoon loge? kal hi to liya tha!
“Jaanch honi hai, tumhare khoon ko peete nahi hain hum log!
Patient: Pehle se hi kamzor hain..Aise roz roz Khoon nikaloge to mar hi jayenge!
9. When government policies and court decisions decide your future. NEET or AIPG? DNB or AIIMS? Rural Posting: Mandatory or Voluntary?
And the most frustrating one (almost Suicidal):
10. Cramming KALAAM!